Leaving
by aprilkitty
Summary: Regina decides to leave Storybrooke and put everything behind her, even if she never remembers any of it at all.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I'm not sure yet if this will be an angsty one-shot or if I'll continue it. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

Regina could see the Now Leaving Storybrooke sign coming up ahead. Truthfully, she had no idea if she could cross the barrier and still keep her memories. There was at least a chance that she would, though. After all, she was the one who cast the curse.

What if her memories disappeared? Well, she wouldn't mind losing most of them. Not remembering all the tragedy and betrayal in her life might be a blessing. The only real problem was that she would forget Henry. Did Henry even really want her in his life, though? If he didn't, maybe it was best to forget him, too.

That painful thought was going through her mind as she passed the Now Leaving Storybrooke sign. A few minutes later, she still had her memories, painful as so many of them were. She couldn't decide if she was disappointed or relieved.

As she continued to drive, she thought about the note she left Henry.

_Dear Henry,_

_By the time you receive this letter, I will have left Storybrooke. I have decided that it would be best if I left this place behind. I hope that if you are upset, you can forgive me._

_ There is a chance that I will lose all my memories when I leave town. If so, know that I have always loved you and that I truly hope you have all the happiness in your life that I have never had in mine._

_If I do remember, I will contact you soon._

_ Love, Mom_

Regina found herself thinking that maybe she should turn back. Another part of her thought that it had been a mistake to tell Henry that she would contact him. How was she supposed to have a fresh start when she still had ties to her past? She couldn't keep herself from putting it in the letter, though. She had no idea if Henry would miss her or not, but if he did, she needed to talk to him.

Memories started coming to the front of Regina's mind. They were still there, and she couldn't keep herself from thinking about them.

She could still see baby Henry in his crib, reaching up for her. She could picture him smiling at her. She remembered one time when he had badly skinned his knees playing outside. He had kept trying not to cry. When she had bandaged him up, he gave her a hug.

"I love you, Mommy," he had said.

He had said that so many times, when he was little. He had once loved her so much. And now, he was with the birth mother that he had run away from home to get. He was with Snow and Charming, part of their happy ending.

Regina had raised Henry for ten years. Didn't that count for anything? No, not for them. All of the time she had spent hugging him, reading to him, even singing to him…none of that mattered. She was the Evil Queen, and she didn't belong in their world of "good always wins" and happy endings. She used to be good, didn't she? Why didn't she deserve a happy ending?

All she wanted was to be able to raise her son, but that wasn't allowed anymore. To them, she would always be the Evil Queen, no matter what she did. Anything she did to try to redeem herself was never enough. Everything bad that happened would always be her fault. Her only chance at any sort of happiness was to leave.

With that in mind, Regina kept driving, still not sure where the road would take her. Surely wherever she went, it would be better than the cruel world she left behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I have been convinced to continue. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

It was dark out, and Regina was beginning to get tired. She saw that she was near a town and decided that she should stop for the night. Just outside the town, she saw a sign for a small inn. It was surrounded by woods and looked like a good place to spend the night.

Regina parked her car in the small parking lot and went inside. It looked like a cozy place. She asked for a room just for the night. She wasn't sure where exactly she was going, but she wasn't planning to stay this close to Storybrooke. She had been vaguely thinking of going to another part of the country.

Regina's room was also small but cozy. She had gotten a room with a nice view of the woods, but she was so used to the forest. Maybe she should go someplace with a completely different environment. That would feel more like a fresh start—someplace that didn't remind her of Storybrooke or the Enchanted Forest.

Regina took her phone out of her purse. Nobody had called her. Really, she knew that she shouldn't have kept her phone, either. It was one more link to her past. What if Henry had an emergency and needed her, though?

Regina knew that she needed to stop thinking like that. If Henry needed to talk to anybody, he would just talk to Emma, Snow, or Charming. He didn't need her. He would never need her, not anymore. She had been prepared to forget everything, so why did she keep so many things that would remind her of the past?

She continued to stare at the phone. Should she call Henry? What if he hadn't read her letter yet and didn't even know she was gone? What if he didn't miss her? That brought back another memory of a time when he did miss her.

_Henry ran up to Regina and hugged her. "I missed you so much, Mom."_

"_I know, sweetheart," Regina said. "I missed you, too."_

_It had been Henry's first day at school, and it hadn't been easy to convince him to go._

"_Do I have to go back tomorrow?" Henry asked._

"_I'm sorry, Henry, but you do," Regina said. "You'll get used to it soon. You'll start to like it, and you'll learn so much."_

_Henry frowned. "I guess."_

_Regina smiled. "Since you did such a good job at school today, how about we go out for ice cream?"_

_Henry smiled and hugged her again. "That sounds great, Mom."_

Regina put the phone back in her purse. She looked in her bags and found the pictures she had brought along. Perhaps she hadn't been that prepared to forget. Or, she thought the pictures would help her remember—the happier times, at least. The little album was full of pictures of her and Henry smiling. She ended up taking another trip down memory lane, looking at the photos of her holding Henry as a baby, Henry's birthdays, and Henry playing at the playground.

When she looked at the photos, it seemed like they had once had a good relationship. It was still hard to pinpoint exactly when Henry started to see her differently. Had it just been the book? Now she wished that she had talked to him about it more. Of course, she could call him now and talk to him. After all, she had told Henry in that letter that she would contact him. Hearing his voice at all might just make her want to go back, though, and he didn't need her. He was probably happier without her. She knew that she couldn't be happy if she went back to Storybrooke.

So, Regina put the photos away and got ready for bed. Maybe she would wake up in the morning with a better idea of what she wanted to do with the rest of her life.


End file.
